The Almighty NineTails Emu Boot
by The Girl in Blue
Summary: The Kyuubi gets bored, and decides to summon her four year old vessel, Naruto! FEMKYUUBI No longer one-shot, updated! Adding another couple of cute stories, but rating s going up to T for future chaps.
1. Chapter 1

**_Author's Note: I was trying to fall asleep a couple of nights ago, and I though of this one-shot story. Hope you enjoy :) Btw I'm havcing a poll whether to decide if I should have a longer sequel to this one-shot, or several other one-shots to follow this. Please vote !!!!! :D_**

***(Beginning)***

The giant nine-tailed fox was bored. _Really _bored. Kyuubi pounded her head against the cold, metal bars of her imprisonment, although it did not budge, due to the Fourth Hokage's seal. The only result was that the Kyuubi earned herself another mind-numbing migraine.

**"There's absolutely nothing to go in this god-forsaken hell!"** She grumbled miserably, rubbing her aching head with one of her many flame-coloured tails. The demon paced inside her prison, pondering what to do next, how to entertain herself.

"Wait, I know!" Kyuubi exclaimed deviously, as an idea suddenly popped up in her mind. **"I'll summon that little child! Ha, there's no better entertainment then scaring the living daylights out of a puny little human!"** Smirking, she forced her vessel into his subconscious.

The four year old blond blinked in surprise as he took in his surrounding: a cold, flooded floor, and two colossal gates, held together by a piece of paper-like thing. Naruto gasped, when he caught sight of two piercing yellow eyes staring at him from the depths of the cage.

**"I AM THE QUEEN OF ALL DEMONS, THE RULER OF ALL EVIL!"**The Kyuubi suddenly bellowed, **"FEAR ME YOU PUNY CHILD, FOR I AM-"**

"Aw..!"

**"-the almighty…nine-tailed…fox?"**The Kyuubi stuttered, as the cooing noise issuing from the child caught her in mid rant. She was dumbfounded (!). Instead of staring at her in horror, Naruto was glancing at her with the same curiosity as he'd look at a small cat with. **"Wait a moment; didn't I scare you at all? Not even a bit?"** She asked, disbelievingly.

Naruto giggled. "Of course not silly! You're just a big, cute fluffy kitty!"

The demons' jaw dropped, revealing rows of pointed teeth.** "Are you kidding me? I…am _not…_a…a fluffy k-kitty! Damn it! I'm a giant demon fox, terror of the century, not some stupid fur ball, you puny lump!"**Kyuubi reprimanded him shockingly. "**And I am _definitely _not cute! Screw this! I'm mean, not nice, I'm scary, I'm… I'm…-"**

"Emo?" Naruto suggested innocently.

_**"…Emo? Emo! I…I am not emo!"**_ _Gosh, this kit just doesn't get it!_

"Emo, Emo! Emo…eeeeemo…EMU!" Naruto sang joyfully. "I know what you are!"

Kyuubi lifted her head in hope.

"An Emu boot!" A fluffy Emu boot!"

Kyuubi let out a groan. **"Yes, I'm a fluffy Emu boot for sure. A fluffy kitty Emu boot."**

"Ha, I knew it!"

The giant fox resumed to banging her head against the bars of her cage.

Naruto glanced at her, and asked, "What's wrong?"

The fox lifted her giant head to his genuine concern. **"Why aren't you scared of me? Aren't I at all intimidating?"**

"Hm?" Naruto looked up innocently. "Oh, I'm used to being scared by the villagers, although I've learned to ignore it all. Sometimes they like to throw kunai at me, but they usually just walk away muttering." Naruto smiled, as if villagers attacking little children was nothing to worry about. "Anyways, I was hoping that you'd want to be my friend... No one seems to want to ever visit me, and it can get rather lonely at my place."

Kyuubi, feeling rather guilty about his fate, seeing that it was her fault he suffered, asked rather meekly, **"My friend?"**

"Yeah!" You'll be my bestest friend! We'll do everything together! We'll play together, we'll talk together, and we'll even eat Ramen together!" The blond exclaimed, and, without warning, broke into a steady run towards the demons' cage, arms outstretched.

**"Hey, wait a minute-"**but it was too late. Naruto had flung himself through the bars and onto of the Kyuubi's nine tails, hugging it, and snuggling close. Kyuubi tensed slightly at his touch, but relaxed when his innocent love swept over her. She wrapped her tail at the, now sleeping, boy, keeping him warm.

_Maybe this isn't quite the hell it was cut out to be. _


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Hm.. no one ever said I had to write these, but lots of people do, so ok. I do not own Naruto. But I do own the Kyuubi... No just kidding, I wish xD

* * *

(Morning, at Naruto's place. Naruto is about 5).

_*Snore*_

**Naruto, wake up.**

_*SNORE*_

**Naruto, get your ass up immediately.**

*SUPERDUPERSNORE*

**SAKURA'S COMING!**

Naruto ripped himself from his sleep and looked around in panic. "Sakura's's here? She's here? Oh no!" He jumped from his bed and peered into his mirror, and he saw this: his night cap sliding over one of his cerulean blue eyes, his matted hair plastered to his forehead, and his pyjama shirt stained with Ramen. "Crud!" Naruto exclaimed, running his fingers through his hair, trying to fix it. "How do I look, how's my hair, how do I-"

**Naruto.**

"Shut up Kyuubi! I mean tell me-" Naruto babbled, unsuccessfully trying to wipe of the stain from his shirt, "How do you look??? Arg!!"

**Naruto. Sakura isn't coming.**

"..." Naruto stood there, dumbfounded.

**I was just trying to wake you up. Your snoring gave me a headache, and I ran out of Advil.**

Naruto punched Kyuubi as hard as he could, although the blond ultimately found out that punching his stomach wasn't going to hurt the fox.* Groaning, he did a double-take, and fell to the floor, holding his stomach in slight agony.

**I might've ran out of Advil, but I may have some pain killers in the back. **The Kyuubi went to check.

*****

(Sometime after the pain-killers took effect)

Still wincing from his accident earlier on, Naruto examined the contents of his near-empty fridge, and after concluding that there was nothing left to eat but Ramen (although there was certainly no problem with that!) , he shoved the instant Ramen Cup into the microwave, and put it on for a couple of minutes. Although, the Kyuubi wasn't going to wait until after Naruto's daily dose of Ramen to make a comment.

**This is disgusting! All you ever eat is the Ramen crap! Can't you get some fruit, or even some vegetables! **

Ignoring this, Naruto went over to the microwave, and took out his ready Ramen. Sitting back down at the dining table, he broke some chopsticks, and took his first bite.

***gag!* Are you purposefully trying to make me sick!? Come on, I'll do anything, just stop this torture!**

Grinning, Naruto continued to eat, relishing the moment.

**NARUTO YOU STUPID KIT! PUT THAT CRAP DOWN BEFORE I LOSE-**

Another gulp.

***BARF***

_Hee, I like it when he plays dead; it's funny! _Naruto thought innocently, as he had a sudden image of the giant Kyuubi lying on the floor on his back, all nine-tails limp and eyes crossed.

*****

Eventually, the Kyuubi came around from her morning problems, and Naruto had finally changed into his regular day attire; a black shirt and some beige pants.**

_Hey Kyuubs, how are you in there?_

**Oh, I'm fabulous. That Ramen sure leaves behind a fabulous after taste.**

_See, I told you you'd like it eventually!_

**Kit, I'm been talking to you for over a year, and I still haven't taught you how to use frigin sarcasm. **

_No, you taught me something!_

The Kyuubi lifted a eyebrow in disbelief from behind her bars.

_You taught me my fucking vocabulary! _Naruto gazed at himself in a large mirror, innocently. He had no clue what the f word meant, but if the Kyuubi had taught him it, then it was a good thing!

**And isn't it colorful.**

..._Words can be colorful..?_

**... Nevermind...**

_Kyuubs, don't smack you forehead against those bars!... You told me you ran out of advil!_

_*****_

(Around lunchtime)

Naruto was preparing to leave the house for lunch, and he had one place in mind... Locking the front door, he walked down the steps and into the streets, he navigated his way through the streets, searching for a familiar scent.

**Naruto-kit! Frig, you just had that crap this morning! Go get some fresh fruit or something! Come on!**

_? I thought you said this morning that you liked Ra- _The young blond was suddenly cut off when he walked into a person.

"Watch where you're going, you little demon brat!" The stranger yelled, brushing off his garments as if Naruto had dirtied them.

"Sorry ugly bitch!" Naruto exclaimed cheerfully.

**Naruto, what the hell was that for! You don't go calling men bitches! You don't go calling people bitches at all!**

_Oh, Kyuubs, it's just that she gave me a nickname, and I thought I was supposed to give her one too!_

**Damn Naruto, apologize!**

"Sorry lady!" Naruto exclaimed to the fuming stranger, who only turned redder at the apology.

_What's wrong with her?_

**Naruto, 'she's' a 'he'. You'd better run...**

Having ignored that, Naruto continued. _Hey Kyuubs, why's she holding that pointy stick at me? And why is she yelling again?_

**Kit, that 'stick' is a dagger, now run!**

_Sure thing! _"Bye old lady!" Naruto yelled at the man, waving. The man spazzed off, shaking his weapon in fury. Once Naruto reached his favourite ramen stand, he sat down, and though to Kyuubi:

_Why was that old lady so grumpy?_

**That old lady was a guy kit.**

_Oh... But she looked like a she._

**Whatever kit.**

* * *

*Remember, Naruto's really young. You can't blame him for being rather lost. :P

** Naruto's not a ninja yet, so he's not wearing his orange and blue combo yet.

* * *

Ok, so you`ve got another taste at some sweet moments. All these suggestions were from my friends (they have an odd sense of humor) with my own touch :) Hope you liked it! Plz R and R

SO yeah, Ideas would be welcome on what you'd like to see, and if you have a scenario you'd like to see put up here, plz PM me . :D


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